I can’t stand that damn question. Isn’t it weird that I have to tell you what I want? There’s no surprise. So when I open up the gift, it’s like oooooh wooooo….what a surprise! If people know you really well, shouldn’t they already have a clue? Unless of course your name is Fresh and you have proven to be one of the most difficult people to shop for. I’M SORRY……

So when people ask me…….especially over the last 2-3 years, I respond with “Nothing” or “I don’t know”.

Sometimes I’m really serious. I don’t want a thing. My gift to me is seeing people open up the stuff I bought them that they had no idea about. I don’t ask the “what do you want” question. I already know and was probably scheming on the gift for some time.

My gift to me is pulling the wool over my daughter’s eyes to have her thinking that some old fat ass white dude really came up in the crib while we were all sleeping and ate the cookies and drank milk. I only have a few more years before she busts my ass so why not continue. I even told her that S.anta needed a change and that she should probably leave him a slice of pineapple cake with coconut and some sweet tea. That might give it away though. Don’t you know she asked me how does Santa get in the house if we don’t have a chimney??! DAMNIT she’s on to me….

Back to the post…

This year, yeah, there are things I want….like one of these NV Homes or a Michael Harris joint…..with one of these in the driveway and rocking this IWC Portuguese joint or maybe I can have her, or her, or her, or her, or her, or all of them at the same time (I used to have H.alle on the list but she knocked up son!)

I don’t ask for things that are outrageous and that are going to smash someone’s bank account or fighting with their credit card company over a late payment or two. I hate when people have to take 6-8 months to pay off everything they bought for Christmas. But the truth is I really don’t know what I want. I’m one of those people who sees something they want and get it themselves and this creates a shop-for-Fresh nightmare.

Case in point – I “mentioned” that I wanted a N.intendo W.ii. Those sonsofbitches are damn near impossible to find but Fresh found 2 online in a 30 minute time span and guess what Fresh did. Yup. Fresh bought 2. What the hell you need with 2 W.ii’s Fresh?!?! I sold one of them bad boys on E-bay bay and made a profit son! Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, mama ain’t raise no fool. But as soon as I copped it, over Turkey Day I heard, damn, we were going to get that for you…..See how I fugg things up?!?!?

So now I gotta go search for a gift and make a list……………