So I’m sitting on the toilet this morning reading one of wifey’s old Essence magazines when I come across the classic article title “What Men Really Want in Bed”. Hmmm ok. Let’s see what they say. I flip to the page and see things like
“…to be cuddled”…..
“….a nice french kiss….”
*BLINK* *BLINK* *BLANK STARE*
Are you kidding me? While I respect Essence for keeping it clean in print, those two comments are far from my truth. Cuddling? I’m sorry ladies. If your sexual relationship has failed miserably, it’s because you read these bootleg articles in magazines and you don’t pay attention to your man. Every partner isn’t the same. Like snowflakes and fingerprints and……you get the point.
So in true Fresh fashion, I’m going to break down, my 5 things that men want. Am I an expert? Nah. Far from it. But would you rather take advice from me or a washed up 60 year old journalist? Your call.
Read more…
You can tell from the title what I attended last night.
Yuppee. The company holiday party.
I rarely go and since I skipped out last year, I figure ehh maybe I’ll at least show face this year. But as the day approached, I literally had to fight with myself about going. You should have heard the excuses I was coming up with. I don’t like company holiday parties. Well…let me rephrase that. I don’t like MY company’s holiday party. So with that…I give you this week’s Fresh Five.
Five Reasons Why I Don’t Like Going to My Company’s Holiday Party
Read more…
Another edition of Fresh Five…Now I know some of you are going to be enjoying Thanksgiving with that special person in your life and this could very well be the first time you’re meeting the fam. So it is my loyal duty to give you some “advice”. Some survival tips so that you don’t get your turkey stuffed on Thanksgiving….#1 – Don’t go empty handed. Bring something. A bottle of wine is always nice but you should find out if the fam drinks first. Do your research. You don’t want to show up with pig feet and they don’t eat pork. 
So wine is a safe bet. Desserts are a safe bet. If you’re going to make something, make sure your ass can cook/bake. Don’t get experimental with a dish that you’ve never made before. If you don’t bring a thing (because the person you’re going with said so), then offer to help when you get there. Don’t offer too much help. You don’t want to kiss ass but offer enough. Show them you have some damn manners. Read more…
During my *ahem* 2+ hour commute to work this morning (you fuggas gotta learn how to drive. It’s just rain damnit!!!), I had plenty of time to think of a post but I had a serious mental block until I got a phone call from my home slice asking me for some man-advice. She’s an attractive one if I may say so myself, got it going on, just seems to fall for the idiots. As she’s describing her situation, I stopped her half way through and had to break the news to her. Sorry homie but you are The Jumpoff. (for those unfamiliar with the term, please refer to urban dictionary for more info http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jumpoff
So I’d like to dedicate this post to….The Jumpoffs.
Fresh Five Ways to know that you are The Jumpoff….(i’m sure there are many more than 5).
Read more…
