Some of you out there have a disease that hasn’t been detected by the CDC. It’s called neverontimitis…..(never-on-time-itis). I need to come up with a damn drug like these pharm companies to correct that shit. Instead of L.ipitor, it’ll be Alarmator. But then again, some of you will all of sudden have some side effects and next thing I know, I got a class action law suit on my hands. So fuck (I need to slow down my cursing…another day) fuck it, just motivate your ass to get to something on time and if you’re not gonna make it, pick up the phone. Shit. It’s that simple. Don’t come to me with no fashionably late excuse. You ain’t fashionable. You just late.

A family member had an appointment this weekend and showed up 58 minutes and 32 seconds late. That shit is just rude. No phone call. No smoke signals. Nothing. Just came up in the spot like nothing was wrong. They are ALWAYS late. They were late to their own wedding. REAL TALK. 90 minutes late to their own wedding. I was out the church door on my way to my car when their car pulled up. The day they’re on time, is the day when we’ll have a Black President, a Puerto Rican Vice President, a Mexican Secretary of State.

The hawk came out today. Cold as hell outside. So when I leave my house and drive past the high school, all the black kids dressed like they up in the North Pole rocking N.orthface jackets, bubble coats, looking real warm. I drive to work in the white neighborhood and these fuckas got on flip flops, and shorts with U.gg boots and a sweatshirt. Pale ass legs red as shit. WTF is wrong with them? Somebody please…explain…..

You know what’s funny to me? You ever go to the airport or I’ll go to these government buildings for meetings and they got these little ass security guards. Did you ever ask yourself, what the hell is this little dude/female gonna do to protect me? They ain’t even packing heat. They just doing some shit other than their job. The ill part about all this is……….if you go to a club, they got the biggest damn security guards/bouncers……We gonna be somewhat safe in the club but at work…shiiiiiiiiiiit, it’s fair game…..

Yesterday I went by this store that sells photo supplies but also serves as a studio for people to take pictures. Of course the shit was crowded with everyone taking pictures for Christ-mas. So, I’m in the spot and naturally a lady catches my attention. Not because she looked good (I mean she did have a little rump) but because of everything she had going on. Her kids were running rampant in the spot and she acted like she didn’t see shit! (yes, she was on our team) Why? because her and her girls were too busy trying to get their Top M.odel on. Fixing each other’s hair, changing outfits. I thought the pics were for the kids. Obviously I was wrong. When 3AW (not 3.LW.) took their pictures, I had to stare. One had her jacket on the whole time but when she took it off, good lawd, her boobs smizacked me in the grill. So now I gotta stare harder cause I’m trying to use my powers to make them shits pop out her blouse. She had mad makeup on too (yes I did manage to take my eyes off the breasts) like she robbed a fuckin’ M.AC counter. The other girl was rocking the peep toe shoes. Now ladies, how many toes are supposed to “peep” through the “peep toe”? One, two at most? Yo, it was like 4 of her toes trying to squeeze through that damn hole? THAT’S MY WORD. They were all piled up on top of each other peaking out like they needed air or some shit or they just wanted to see what all the ruckus was outside the shoe. I mean DAMN. The third girl…….wait wait…….ahhh fugg it…….during the pictures the 3rd girl was sticking what was supposed to be her ass out like this was a photo at the club and she had the velvet backdrop with the spray painted picture of the champagne glass on it. I just started laughing. I can see it now….those greetings cards go out with “HO HO HO” written on the side……

(that was foul I know…….I’ll be nice now)