Me. My boy. Boats. Water.

My boy tells me that I need to try it, after all, he just bought a new fancy, state of the art boat.

So I go, look, find one in my price range and I buy it. It’s nice –on the outside but as I took it out on water, I began to notice little subtle issues. Cracks here and there. Imperfections.

But I took it out. On the water.

Yeah the water, it was calm. It was blue. And oddly enough, the scene was weird because it wasn’t like a lake or ocean or anything. It was like a series of reflecting pools but the water was deep.

So my boy tells me he’ll come with me to take mine out on the water and we go.

It’s cool at first. I look out at other people and everybody is chillin’. Then it happens.

The water becomes unsettled. Like ridiculous. Waves higher than you can imagine.

And my boat becomes unstable and feels like it’s falling apart.

Next thing I know, I’m in a raft and it almost feels like I’m white water rafting in some turbulent waters.

I’m handling it good. My boy is laughing. Until one wave, wipes us out. Completely.

Now I’m underwater. Submerged. And the problem is, I can’t swim. But I manage to do what I gotta do and next thing you know, I’m back in the raft. I gather myself and as soon as I get it together. Another huge wave. Another wipeout. Submerge. Survive. Back in the boat.

Mind you, all of this time, I’m not looking for my boy.

That sequence repeats itself for like 2 more times and finally when it’s done, I get on ground and low and behold my boy is standing there with a life guard. Both of them doing nothing but yet congratulating me that I made it.

They are standing on this podium and when I get up there with them, I see other people (friends and some family) going through the same wave sequence I did except, some survive and other’s don’t.

So what do you think?

I’ll leave my interpretation in the comments later.

It goes beyond basketball ( although the Cavs really had no team around him and obviously he was upset about the direction they were going) and it goes beyond money. For me, I’m glad he left cause he’s been there his whole life and it’s time for change.

Huh? Fresh? What?

Let’s bring it down to regular people.

Anyone that knows me in real life, knows that I’m a big fan of leaving home. Packing up and rolling out. Whenever someone asks me where they should go to college, my first reaction is “not here”. I’m not being harsh. I’m not being mean. I just think people need to experience life outside of their natural habitat.

Wifey’s relative? Turned down the opportunity to study abroad for a year. Also turned down a chance to attend a leadership program at an Ivy League school. Why? She doesn’t want to leave home.

My neighbor’s daughter? Been in this area her whole life. Got one job offer in Richmond which is about 90 miles away. Boo hoo’ed about it to the point where she quit. Now she’s back home. Unemployed and he’s boo hoo-ing.

I realize people get homesick. I get homesick too and I’ve been gone from NYC for years! I went upstate for college and haven’t been back home since barring a brief consulting project. But that’s what visits are for. I guarantee that when you go home, you’ll see the same people doing the same thing they were doing when you left.

I know people who have NEVER left Brooklyn. I mean never. Not even on vacation. That’s their prerogative. Not mine.

Change is good. It tests your soul. It’s scary at times but oh so necessary. LeBron needs to get away. He’s young. He needs to experience life outside of Akron and Cleveland and he needs his kids to do the same. So on that note, I say good move LBJ. Experience life.

Side Note: Dear Mr. Dan Gilbert, owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers, you’re statement was classless and frankly you sounded like a little bitch. Th

Being a black man arrested on DUI charges with a white woman in the car whose red panties are in your lap and then having to resign from your job knowing that you were due about 500K this year plus a raise?

OR

Having to explain the above to your black wife ? (who by the way is a member of a well known sorority)….

Damn son……

Fresh off the red eye. (pun intended)

Waiting on my connection to go home. Sitting in the airport looking at this guy in front of me trying to figure out if he got dressed in the dark. (Light tan khakis, black shirt, brown and red tie, plaid light blue and I can’t even tell what color that is……)

Another trip to Cali. Another  ”save the customer mission”.  (although this was my first one in Cali).

It started off shaky. Literally. 20 minutes after I landed the ground shook. http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2010/jun/14/grsq-earthquake-shakes-san-diego/ At first I thought, damn, those are some powerful baggage claim machines making the ground move but then I looked up and saw things swaying and rattling, I knew it was real.

The locals were like “oh it’s just an earthquake”. Me? I’m like “yo that’s a m*therf*&^g earthquake. Get me the hell outta here!”

Earthquake #2?

Well, that happened the next morning when I arrived at the customer site and proceeded to be the proud recipient of a slur of curse words.

“Why the f*ck is he here? F*ck them, f*ck that sh!tty product” <———–his exact words. I’m sure he said more but I tuned out after that.

My Brooklyn instinct wanted to take over. I was ready to unleash but I wasn’t there for that unless he said something about my mother. Then it would have been on!  But the thing is dude was pissed and had a right to be. When you pay X amount of dollars for stuff, you expect it to work. But it wasn’t working and it’s never worked right and everything was just wrong and off.

(Damn this ladies boobies are damn near past her waist)

Meetings and whiteboard sessions and “please leave me alone, don’t look over my shoulder” (<–that’s what I said)  sessions came and went. By Wednesday afternoon, they got what they paid for (even though it’s not 100% complete). By Wednesday evening/night, we were on the rooftop bar tossing them back and we talked about everything non-work related. Yes me and Mr. F*ck that sh!tty product. Bopping our heads to that Big Boi joint “Shutterbug” (eh that joint bumps…)

Truth be told, the guy before me could have easily done what I did. It wasn’t really a technical problem. It was a people and strategy problem. He’s smarter than me technically. Knows the product like the back of his hand but what he doesn’t have are people skills. He can’t talk. He can’t relate. He can’t sympathize. He doesn’t listen.

(OMG….there’s a couple in the airport wearing matching outfits. Gold shirts and plaid shorts. They still do that?)

My mom use to always tell me, no matter what, make sure you take the time to understand people. She’s right. It’s an invaluable skill.  Sometimes you don’t have to yell to get your point across. Sometimes you don’t have to prove you’re the smartest.  Sometimes you just gotta listen and shut up and eventually things will work out. Enjoy your life and enjoy the view. (or enjoy mine from the seat….)

Time to board………….

“Run…..Run”
“Pump your arms”
“Push yourself. Let’s go”
“All the way through” and my favorite
“You gotta pass her!”

Hey, I’m a dad and my daughter is an athlete. I want her to do well, not necessarily win – although that’s nice, but do well in all of her events. So I scream, not yell, so she can hear me and I cheer, no matter how she’s doing and when she crosses the finish line, I hug and congratulate, not scold. There’s a difference.

See I want my daughter to compete but have fun. Enjoy the experience. I want her to win but I also want her to lose. I want her to lose, shake it off and come back and go at it again because that’s life. You’d be surprised how many adults don’t know how to handle a loss.

But some parents,  damn, some of you take things a little too serious. Yelling at your kids. Yelling at the coaches. Just yelling. Relax. Yesterday I watched a lady yell at her son, who ran with the 10 year olds. He placed 5th in the 400m. She met him at the finish line, grabbed his ear and proceeded to chew his ass out. Yelling. Cursing. Hitting him upside his head. Is it that serious?

I’ve seen parents do this in everything, competitive cheerleading, track, football – you name it (I wonder if parents do this with report cards?) and what I’ve come to realize is a lot of times, parents are reliving their childhoods with their children, especially if they play a sport or are in an activity that the parent did as a youngster. But it’s ridiculous. I feel bad for the kids.

What you, as a parent have to realize is that you and your child are two different people. What you like could be entirely different than what your child likes and when you yell, when you’re too serious, you take the fun out of the sport/activity for your child. They may not admit it but trust me, you’re draining them. They dread the sport.  You’re ruining their childhood. Just let them be. Let the kids have fun, live and learn.

Speaking of ignorant crap. Explain this one to me.

I saw that a rest stop on the NJ Turnpike and can you believe you can collect all 10? My kid would get back slapped for asking for that crap.

As much hatred as I have for boys wearing skinny jeans sagging off their backsides, I wonder if my mom felt the same about my baggy jeans……

I gotta give it up to Google. They celebrated the 30th anniversary of Pac Man but putting a picture on the game as it’s logo today (Friday) But that’s not all, if you click on it, you can play it. Too dope (that’s the nerd in me coming out)

I’m saying I can dream right?

Listen, if I found out someone on my team was banging my mom during my MVP party (and of course this is all rumor stance right now), but anyway, first, I’d beat that dude’s ass. Second, my mom would get cut off too from all financial “aid” she receives and third, I’d play like sh*t too.  How you gonna? I mean, dude’s mom? I mean that’s some motherf*cking (pun intended) grimy ish right there.

Ladies, do you want a phatter backside. Look what I found for you

How’d she get famous again? Why is she important? Oh yeah, she boned Ray-J on a “please release this so I can be popular” sex tape. Bullshit ass tape. I saw it!

4am was the time I  LEFT the club/bar. I shut it down. Waited until the lights came on so I could get a real good look at the honey I was dancing with and determine whether I was going ask for the digits and make the “nah I’ll pass” decision. Dark clubs are dangerous man!

I could stay up until 4am with no damn problem. Hit up the 24 hour diner or IHOP and feel like it’s 9pm. I wasn’t even tired. Sunrise – no problem!

4am was nothing. I could get home or already be home, drink or still feel the buzz, make a booty call with the extra Barry White bass in my voice. “Wassup, what you doin? You should come over…”

If the phone rang at 4 back then, it was somebody thinking about me and they were leaving the club and wanted to come see Mr. Fresh! YES!

Go to bed at 4am and still get a good 8 hours+ of sleep and feel refreshed (unless of course the alcohol humbled you…..)

FAST FORWARD…..

Get older, get in a relationship, get married, have kids and now all of a sudden……

4am is a b*tch.

If your eyes see 4am, it’s a problem.  Either you’re up feeding the baby or checking on your kid cause they’re having a nightmare or smacking your spouse with the pillow cause they’re snoring too loud.

4am? C’mon son.

Doesn’t matter what time you wake up, you’re pissed at yourself for being up so late AND you say things like “I can’t do that again”

You go to happy hours and you’re out of that bar/club by midnight cause you know your body will shut down at 1am THE LATEST

4am? Try getting home at 4am WITHOUT telling your S.O or spouse that you’ll be home that late and watch the cold shoulder action take effect. They turn the other way in bed and in the back of their mind they’re thinking “wait till I go out with my friends the next time”. HA!

4am? Booty call? Puh-leez. Well only if you’re up but if you’re not and you try the shoulder tap, you might get swatted at like that annoying fly buzzing around….

Go to bed at 4am, and it takes you DAYS to recover especially if you drank. You know you’re old ass got a 2 drink limit. Go over it and we’re talking long term recovery. WEEKS.

Part of the reason why it’s rough, your kids still get up at 7a and so do you. They don’t know you got home late. Your mom still calls at 8am. She doesn’t know you were reliving your youth grinding in the corner to Mad Cobra! Girl Fleeeexxxxx, time to have sexxxxx

At 4am this past weekend, I was up, wide awake, loading up the truck to bring Lil Freshalina and a few of her teammates to a track meet in the Seven Cities area of VA. I stopped at 7 Eleven to get some ice and saw a pack of young dudes in there looking like club sweat.

I just laughed and started singing Biggie “Damn things done changed……”

So I’m like cool….and I open my mouth….

Me: I used to do the same thing before my games. I’d make a tape of my favorite music and put it in my Walkman and get hype.

Lil Freshalina: Daddy? What’s a Walkman?

Me: It’s what you listen to your tapes in. It’s like your iPod but for tapes and…(**I get cut off**)

Lil Freshalina: Daddy? What’s a tape?

Me: (thinking to myself) *Damn this kid is deprived* Then I explain the whole concept of music and tapes and there was no downloading just waiting and running to the radio and pressing the red record button and poppin the little plastic pieces off so no one can record over it and using the Bic Pen to rewind the tape or get the tape back in order because your big head brother pulled it out  and the Bic pens were the only ones that fit perfectly in the groove and flipping it over because there was an “A” side and “B” side and making the labels and writing in graffiti (not Times Roman- graffiti) for hip hop music but you wrote in cursive for the slow jams and calling it something you just made up like “Fresh Beats”……….

Lil Freshalina: Daddy, you had to do all that work just to listen to music?

Me: Yup

**MINUTES LATER**

Lil Freshalina: My daddy was telling me all this stuff about recording music onto this thing called a tape….

Random Track Teammate: I know! My mom was telling me the same thing. Have you ever seen a tape? They’re so weird looking and as big as an iPhone. They’re sooooooooo old.

Me (walking away) : Man y’all shorties are spoiled…….

Guess what I showed her when she got home…..I took out the crates (yes old school milk carton crates yes I have them) and pulled out a few tapes….See…..

I’m in the middle of a crazy road schedule. 2 weeks down. 2 weeks left.

Over the last 2 weeks, I’ve been to the northeast (NY and NJ- what up dun sons!), south (NC – north cackalac), west coast (Cali – bay area – westside!), midwest (Ohio – wait, is Ohio really considered the midwest and what’s their slogan?) (oh and before I get blasted by my readers, I was in Cincinnati – not Cleveland or Dayton/Columbus – whew – had to save my arse there for a second) and oh and can’t forget South Central…..Pennsylvania! I did see an interesting billboard there that was directed at the President and something crazy about not wanting healthcare which was crazy because I  swear the waitress at the restaurant had like 4 teeth. But whatever…..

What’s left? Oh just Cali (again), Texas and the ATL. The ATL is the last stop. I’m looking forward to it. Either one of two things will happen. Either I’ll stay the night, drink and go out  (read: act the fool) or I’ll hustle my way to airport and get home faster than you can say “wack” when you hear a Young Money song. I know me. It’ll be the latter especially since I’ll be back in the ATL in late May.

So let me tell you about my last trip out to San Diego. Quickly. How about when I landed after a 5-6 hour flight, I turned on my phone and had a voicemail saying I didn’t have to go? How about the person that said it never rains in southern Cali is a damn liar? How about the rental car they gave me was about the size of a go-cart? How about the hotel bed was about as hard as an ironing board? How come the first thing I thought about when I laid on that bed was “people f*ck on this?” How about I couldn’t sleep because the pillows were just as hard? How about I complained like hell the next morning? How about the meeting I flew out there lasted for about 2 hours? How about they told me about a month ago to prepare for it but yet I did my slides on the plane? How about one of the guys I went to lunch with said he needed to lose weight (he was a REAL big dude…like car dropped when he got in big) but yet I watched him down…7 cokes…during lunch. He finished the first one before everyone at the table got their drinks? How about I pushed the hell out of the go-cart to try and catch an earlier flight? How about the rental car bus smelled like piss? How about I get to the airport only to find out there are no early flights? How about I need to figure out what to do for 5 hours till my scheduled flight? How about I took the red-eye? How come I remembered quickly why they called them red-eyes? How about I was up for over 36 hours straight? How about that? I forgot when I went to sleep last! How about I forgot what floor I parked on? How about I go to a car, press the remote, nothing happens and I’m thinking sh*t my battery died but really, I was at the wrong one? See what lack of sleep does. My car? Parked right behind it. Hey, it was black like mine……..

The best part of the trip? Other than coming home and seeing the fam was seeing this on my doorstep….It’s time mothersnuckers…..

About a year ago,  a family member was going through some tough times. While no one knew exactly what was going on and since there was no official diagnosis, it was visible that this family member had some serious self esteem issues which I believe led to a bout with depression. (That’s just my opinion. I’m only a “internet” doctor but nothing was “officially” diagnosed)

Everyone tried their best to help during these times. People let this family member stay at their house.  People paid this person’s bills and rent (because they walked away from…not lost….walked away from their previous job). Eventually there were glimpses of hope. One day, said family member told another family member that they were feeling better and ready to move on. At the same time, coincidentally, I was presented with an opportunity that I thought would be perfect especially since said family member had experience in that field. I took it to other members of the family. They agreed it would be good and then I presented it to said person. It would allow them to get back on their feet, although not right away but eventually. I would front them with what they needed and then everything would get turned back over to them.

Fast forward.

Everything started off well but over the last…let’s say…month, it’s been downhill. The family member is slacking on the job. The level of effort isn’t there anymore. The family member is taking advantage of the situation. Both I and wifey have spoken to said family member on a few occasions and things get better for a day, and then they go right back to slackerville. Last week I decided to alter my schedule a little bit and get a glimpse of it myself. Unannounced. It was a complete embarrassment. I felt like I was getting played. To top it off, at this point, I had figured that this family member would have enough to stand on their own beginning in May. Come to find out, they are no where close. No where.

Let me give you a comparative example. Imagine if you live with someone who has no job, pays no bills and you come home one day from a long day at the job and you walk in and this person is sitting on the couch watching Oprah or TMZ with their feet up on the couch. Wouldn’t you be pissed?  I would. Now take this same person, give them, like $500 to aid in their job search and they tell you, they spent it all on Grey Goose and cigarettes. Still pissed?

That night I drove to another family member’s house. Now when all of this stuff first started going down, he was the only person that was anti-everything. He didn’t think they were depressed nor did he think this person deserved the opportunity and he left it at that. So when I told him the story he wasn’t surprised. He said this person (that he probably knew fairly well because he’s been around them his whole life) has always felt entitled and that they were lazy. This is a cycle they go through all the time.

F*&^@!

When I first started typing this blog, I was going to ask blogland to weigh in. By the time I got to F*&^@!, I already made up my mind. It’s a done deal. I made the call and told my peoples that if they want to end the opportunity, go right ahead.

At first I thought well maybe I forced this on them. Maybe they weren’t ready to move on like that even though they said it. But they were presented other opportunities in the past and turned them down so I dismissed that theory. Then I thought well, maybe it’ll just take more time. But it’s been almost 8 months. Then I realized………

You can’t help people that don’t want to help themselves especially when it comes to family. They will be the first ones to walk over you.  You can’t steer their ship. You can’t right their wrongs. You can’t drive their car because when you do, they expect you to do that all the time. You have to let them learn. On their own.  Gotta let them fly.

So what do you think blogland? ( I changed my mind. Interested in hearing your opinion………….)