Always Funky Fresh – The Blog v2.0

I’m in the middle of a crazy road schedule. 2 weeks down. 2 weeks left.

Over the last 2 weeks, I’ve been to the northeast (NY and NJ- what up dun sons!), south (NC – north cackalac), west coast (Cali – bay area – westside!), midwest (Ohio – wait, is Ohio really considered the midwest and what’s their slogan?) (oh and before I get blasted by my readers, I was in Cincinnati – not Cleveland or Dayton/Columbus – whew – had to save my arse there for a second) and oh and can’t forget South Central…..Pennsylvania! I did see an interesting billboard there that was directed at the President and something crazy about not wanting healthcare which was crazy because I  swear the waitress at the restaurant had like 4 teeth. But whatever…..

What’s left? Oh just Cali (again), Texas and the ATL. The ATL is the last stop. I’m looking forward to it. Either one of two things will happen. Either I’ll stay the night, drink and go out  (read: act the fool) or I’ll hustle my way to airport and get home faster than you can say “wack” when you hear a Young Money song. I know me. It’ll be the latter especially since I’ll be back in the ATL in late May.

So let me tell you about my last trip out to San Diego. Quickly. How about when I landed after a 5-6 hour flight, I turned on my phone and had a voicemail saying I didn’t have to go? How about the person that said it never rains in southern Cali is a damn liar? How about the rental car they gave me was about the size of a go-cart? How about the hotel bed was about as hard as an ironing board? How come the first thing I thought about when I laid on that bed was “people f*ck on this?” How about I couldn’t sleep because the pillows were just as hard? How about I complained like hell the next morning? How about the meeting I flew out there lasted for about 2 hours? How about they told me about a month ago to prepare for it but yet I did my slides on the plane? How about one of the guys I went to lunch with said he needed to lose weight (he was a REAL big dude…like car dropped when he got in big) but yet I watched him down…7 cokes…during lunch. He finished the first one before everyone at the table got their drinks? How about I pushed the hell out of the go-cart to try and catch an earlier flight? How about the rental car bus smelled like piss? How about I get to the airport only to find out there are no early flights? How about I need to figure out what to do for 5 hours till my scheduled flight? How about I took the red-eye? How come I remembered quickly why they called them red-eyes? How about I was up for over 36 hours straight? How about that? I forgot when I went to sleep last! How about I forgot what floor I parked on? How about I go to a car, press the remote, nothing happens and I’m thinking sh*t my battery died but really, I was at the wrong one? See what lack of sleep does. My car? Parked right behind it. Hey, it was black like mine……..

The best part of the trip? Other than coming home and seeing the fam was seeing this on my doorstep….It’s time mothersnuckers…..