Always Funky Fresh – The Blog v2.0

My boys wife doesn’t like me.

I’m not talking about that playing type of “I don’t like you” that some of you give me when I post something stupid. This is real. She don’t like me.

How do I know?

My boy told me. Over dinner this week. See I’m on travel for work, in his neck of the woods, in a different time zone and if my peoples are in the area I’m traveling to, I like to check them out. So I called and we agreed to meet up for dinner, only thing, she didn’t show up. Eh, no biggie. I was cordial. I asked how she was. Then he told me. In a nice way.  ”You’re not exactly one of her favorite people”.

Oh word?

I kinda had that feeling but I didn’t lose sleep over it. So why does she feel that way? Hmmmm………..

Well, there was that one time I dragged him to our other boy’s bachelor party. I mean she called his cell every 2 mins like she wanted the play by play.

Then there was the fellas weekend away when he got pissy drunk and fell asleep on her while she was on the phone. I’m sayin…….

But there were two incidents that sealed my fate…….

Their wedding. You know how at weddings, if you live out of town, they give you a list of hotels where you can stay at a discounted rate? And sometimes they have other “events” planned other than the rehearsal dinner that you can attend, you know, to make it like a weekend affair? Well, the hotel she recommended was a piece of shit. We tried two rooms. Both had stains, stenches, issues. Wifey said and I quote “call the f*ckin’ travel agent and get me the f*ck out of here”.  Think I didn’t call that travel agent? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Besides the fact I didn’t like the room either, I was not going to be stuck in a hotel room for 4 nights with a pissed off black woman. I know better. So 5 minutes after we checked in, we checked out. His wife-to-be was pissed and even more pissed when we didn’t show up to other events she planned. We’re on vacation. We got some QT time. We want to sleep late. Who the hell wants to get up at 7am for a damn duck tour and a tour of a big ass garden (arboretum)?!?!?!?!

The other incident, well, let me say this first to hopefully provide some better context. My boy is black. His wife is white.

Me, him and her are out for dinner.  They had just found out they were having a girl. Somehow the discussion shifted to doing hair. I was telling them how I know how to put lil Freshalina’s hair in a pony tail and that’s about it. She asked me why I had such a hard time. I told her that I’m a man and I didn’t grow up doing hair. Then the discussion shifted towards the hair of mixed/biracial kids. Then it got out of control and somehow, somehow what I said, whatever I said pissed her off. I wish I remember the specifics cause I would type it but I know I said something to the effect how not having the baby’s hair look like about Corbin Bleu. My boy laughed then and we laughed about it tonight.

All of this happened a couple of years ago. Guess I can’t be cool with everybody…….