A Funky Fresh Holiday
Today started out like any other day. I was supposed to go to work. I don’t usually take vacations around this time. Guess I’m weird like that. I like to take my vacations when everybody returns. That way I get a week of quiet at work and I avoid the week of craziness when people return.
Anyway, while driving in this morning I decided I wasn’t feeling it, so I called in and told them to count me out. They were working a half day anyway so it wasn’t a big deal. What did I do instead? Start my Christmas shopping. (Yes I said start…..)
I had a list. I knew the store and the items and if I couldn’t find it now, they’ll get it afterwards. I hit the mall. In at 8:15am, out by 9:15am (brother don’t play nor have time for the bullshuckas). I ran a few more errands and I’m home now, typing this entry and operating the resident neighborhood daddy day care. Somehow I got nominated to watch a bunch of kids while parents do some last minute shopping and wrap gifts.(for the life of me I can’t figure out who this big headed little dude is……) With that I type and become random:
(1) Today I was a mannequin. In 3 of the stores I went to, random women came up to me to ask if I can “put a shirt or pants up to me” to see how if it’ll fit.
(2) Today I was a fashion consultant. Some of those same women were asking me to help them pick out items. I gotta admit, I hooked this one dude up. The shirt/tie/suit combo was a killer.
(3) Women actually read cards before they buy them. Men nah son. We pick up the first one we like and move on. I hope I got the right envelopes.
(4) Oh and I was asked my opinion on some shoes. LAWD. Bee-jeesus. They were some straight up FMPs and if they were for her too. Whoever she’s going to see in those needs to be happy (I said needs….)
(5) I saw more men in Vickie’s than women. HO HO HO………(corny I know)….and for the record I was in there looking for some PINK (damn teenagers)….but don’t front, I went by the skimpy stuff too. Wifey ain’t getting off that easy (but I would have if I would have bought this one joint….BANG BANG BANG)
(6) I hate wrapping gifts but I love the people in the mall who do it for you!
(7) This is the first year I didn’t buy myself a gift. Strangely enough, I think this is the first year I really really deserve one. For once I wasn’t naughty.
(8) If someone is complaining about ummm…let’s say weight loss……..is it offensive if you buy them a book on ‘how to lose weight’ and schedule them a personal training session? Someone told me they would be offended. I thought my idea was brilliant. Guess we’ll find out.
(9) I had a really good, yet interesting, yet unexpected discussion about children and divorce with this Caribbean lady at the car dealer while waiting on an oil change. I’m not sure how it started. One minute I was bumping Jay-Z. The next minute I’m talking about how Tiger should get a court order to block his kids from moving to Sweden. Weird huh?
(10) The Google Santa tracker is pretty cool. Right now, homie is in Turkey. I would show this to the kid but knowing her smart ass, she’ll break it down and figure out that it’s fake.
FROM THE WRITERS AT ALWAYSFUNKYFRESH (that’s just me of course), WE WISH EVERYONE IN BLOGLAND AND THEIR FAMILIES A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY. HAPPY FESTIVUS AND CHRISCHANZAA TO EVERYONE!!!!
Happy HOlidays homie.. late yeah I know LOL
So what ever happened with the gift to the person complaining about weight loss? details
Hope you had a great Holiday. I know the Jets brough you a little present huh?
Hope you had a great holiday Fresh. Re: the weight loss item – depends on the person and how close ya’ll are. I wouldn’t be offended, but I think I might be in the minority on this one. I would love to receive a personal training session from someone as a gift. Let us know the outcome.
In by 8:15 and out in an hour? That’s impressive.
Happy Holidays, Fresh.