Parental Guidance
When I was younger, my mom took me to Delancey Street to buy a fresh Members Only leather. I was still in elementary school and as soon as mom haggled the guy for a lowest price (cause you NEVER pay full price!), we hopped on the train and headed home. That was on the weekend and I just knew that on Monday, I was gonna be “fresh to def” with the new jacket, a crisp pair of Lee’s with the permanent crease and my blue suede Pumas that I just hooked up with the big fat white laces. Done deal. The girlies would flock…….
Day 1 ….. ”ooooooooh Fresh, you got the fresh leather jacket. You get all the new gear”
Day 3 ….. “yooooooooooo Fresh’s Pumas stay clean. You must get new pair every week. You must be rich”
Of course, as a youngin’, I just basked in the limelight. Fresh clothes. Best looking girl was my girlfriend. Everything is kosher right?
Wrong.
Day 7….. Running (sprinting) down Nostrand Ave for my damn life. Members Only leather in one hand. Pumas in the other. Yup, I was running in my damn socks trying to make it to my grandmother’s house.
Day 9 ….. Once again, the Nostrand Ave Boogie. Leather in one hand. Pumas in the other.
Back then, all I heard was “RUN THAT [fill in the blank]” and that meant I was about to get GOT. Some people in my class thought I was rich. I had no idea what “rich” meant but I know we weren’t. My mom, was a single mom, who followed the single mom mantra:
“Take care of your child and make sure they have more than what you have”. It’s called sacrifice. My mom worked two jobs for years to do it.
It was at that point, that night, my mom sat me down and gave me this “speech” about people being jealous. Nowadays people call them “haters”. She talked to me about being fortunate versus unfortunate. She talked about how some people are “crabs in a barrel” and in her words ” they like having roaches and rats” and will never ever do anything to better the situation for themselves and for their kids. That’s a heavy speech for a 5th grader.
Fast forward…………………….
Ever since school started a few weeks ago, my daughter and a few of her friends have heard the “rich” comments, remarks about their clothes and random nonsense incidents (including a girl getting something stolen out of her bookbag). At first, I brushed it off although in the back of my mind, I knew something wasn’t right and kept note of it. But then yesterday, after another incident, I had to have that same talk with her that my mom had with me.
At 8 years old. 3rd Grade. *I’m shaking my head thinking about it*
At that age, they tell people what they have. It’s natural right?. Even kids younger than that do it. My daughter’s friends will come up to me after her practice and say things I have no business knowing….” Mr. Fresh, I have a new DSi”……”and my daddy bought a MacBook”….okay, cool…good for your daddy……”He got email, he can take video and pictures and go on the internet”……Cool….”and it’s gray and the apple sign lights up”….okay, shorty, cool….
I know it’s a different day and age right now and kids grow up faster than before. But these girls aren’t bragging, aren’t showing off, they’re just being kids and it’s other kids that are taking away that freedom and that pisses me off. The fact that my daughter goes to school in a cute outfit with her hair done and could potentially have other girls say something to her about that is ridiculous. The fact that there are parents out there that actually teach their kids the “wrong” and never discuss the “right” .The fact that some parents can’t take the time to teach respect and let’s be real, the fact that some parents just don’t care is just upsetting.
I don’t know how these other kids are living, I don’t know their situation but according to one of the other parents, one of the girls in “question” is basically being raised by her 14 year old brother whose pants never make above his rear end and her sister who has blue extensions. When this parent attempted to talk to the girl’s parents, she’s never home. She always “out”. Go figure. So now I have to safeguard my child against these knuckleheads because somebody doesn’t want to be a parent.
This is some bullsh*t.
Damn. Brooklyn went in hard on me. Okay Mels, you got me. More updates needed!
Such shenanigans! How are you gonna go out the way to purchase a personalized URL and update every two weeks?!
Damn shame. You keep dong what you’re doing for your daughter and talking to her. There’s never really anything you can do about other people once she’s stepped out of the house. People wonder whats wrong with the world today but that right there is exactly it: Parents that just dont give a damn about they’re children and have siblings raising eachother. Breaks my heart.
I remember going through this in junior high. And, clutch the pearls, my parents were still married and both were working. I got called “stuck up rich girl” on the daily. Looking back, I should have popped those heiffa’s in the face, but I wasn’t tough back then. *lol* By the time my little boy is school age, I’ll be having this convo at age 5! Wow!
WHAT? Who’s bothering my lil Princess Freshalina? Now I’m pissed off.
I had one bully incident last year with Tali 1 and I rolled up at aftercare and had a nice little chat with the offender on my own. AHEM. It may not have been sanctioned by the program but he got the picture and we have been incident free ever since.
As my boys get older, I know it’s coming. Mr. 1969 is very peaceful and always has a clear head. Me? Well, I’m Brooklyn and Caribbean. My first instinct is to roll up on the kid and kick his azz. I am sure when we start having to deal with this stuff, it will get real interesting.
Son I’m having the same issue.. and I had to school my daughter PLENTY but she a girl and she hard headed…. but my son he just comes home and gets another hat from the closet.. NAH SON.. where is the yankee fitted? *somebody took it again*.. WTFudge.. This morning I spent time at our school.. how about we “found” 3 of his hats.. 2 from “friends”.. ain’t that some shyt.. glad I write his name in his stuff.. but now tonight we have to have that talk again..
at least you got the opportunity to run.. you know them franklin ave dudes ran up on chicks easy.. gun to back or head.. earrings, boots and leather gone.. I love my city but I dont miss that ish
that is some bullshukus… be becarefull in over-protecting your girl. You don’t want her to grow up in a bubble… i know it’s a balancing act, good luck with it.
It’s sad though… people got the wrong priorities, then they got to be dr. Kill-joy and shoot up the party…