I don’t remember how I got there but I was there.
Me. My boy. Boats. Water.
My boy tells me that I need to try it, after all, he just bought a new fancy, state of the art boat.
So I go, look, find one in my price range and I buy it. It’s nice –on the outside but as I took it out on water, I began to notice little subtle issues. Cracks here and there. Imperfections.
But I took it out. On the water.
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While I don’t agree with the way he did it and while I’m a little disappointed that he’s not with my Knicks or soon to be Brooklyn Nets, I am happy LeBron James left Cleveland (sorry Ohio readers)
It goes beyond basketball ( although the Cavs really had no team around him and obviously he was upset about the direction they were going) and it goes beyond money. For me, I’m glad he left cause he’s been there his whole life and it’s time for change.
Huh? Fresh? What?
Let’s bring it down to regular people.
Anyone that knows me in real life, knows that I’m a big fan of leaving home. Packing up and rolling out. Whenever someone asks me where they should go to college, my first reaction is “not here”. I’m not being harsh. I’m not being mean. I just think people need to experience life outside of their natural habitat.
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What’s worse?
Being a black man arrested on DUI charges with a white woman in the car whose red panties are in your lap and then having to resign from your job knowing that you were due about 500K this year plus a raise?
OR
Having to explain the above to your black wife ? (who by the way is a member of a well known sorority)….
Damn son……
Friday morning. 6:15am.
Fresh off the red eye. (pun intended)
Waiting on my connection to go home. Sitting in the airport looking at this guy in front of me trying to figure out if he got dressed in the dark. (Light tan khakis, black shirt, brown and red tie, plaid light blue and I can’t even tell what color that is……)
Another trip to Cali. Another ”save the customer mission”. (although this was my first one in Cali).
It started off shaky. Literally. 20 minutes after I landed the ground shook. http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2010/jun/14/grsq-earthquake-shakes-san-diego/ At first I thought, damn, those are some powerful baggage claim machines making the ground move but then I looked up and saw things swaying and rattling, I knew it was real.
The locals were like “oh it’s just an earthquake”. Me? I’m like “yo that’s a m*therf*&^g earthquake. Get me the hell outta here!”
Earthquake #2?
Well, that happened the next morning when I arrived at the customer site and proceeded to be the proud recipient of a slur of curse words.
“Why the f*ck is he here? F*ck them, f*ck that sh!tty product” <———–his exact words. I’m sure he said more but I tuned out after that.
My Brooklyn instinct wanted to take over. I was ready to unleash but I wasn’t there for that unless he said something about my mother. Then it would have been on! But the thing is dude was pissed and had a right to be. When you pay X amount of dollars for stuff, you expect it to work. But it wasn’t working and it’s never worked right and everything was just wrong and off.
(Damn this ladies boobies are damn near past her waist)
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I spend my Saturdays baking in the hot sun, screaming at the top of my lungs.
“Run…..Run”
“Pump your arms”
“Push yourself. Let’s go”
“All the way through” and my favorite
“You gotta pass her!”
Hey, I’m a dad and my daughter is an athlete. I want her to do well, not necessarily win – although that’s nice, but do well in all of her events. So I scream, not yell, so she can hear me and I cheer, no matter how she’s doing and when she crosses the finish line, I hug and congratulate, not scold. There’s a difference.
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In honor of ignorance, I’m changing my name to Fucka Wucka Fresh. I’m just sayin…..
Speaking of ignorant crap. Explain this one to me.
I saw that a rest stop on the NJ Turnpike and can you believe you can collect all 10? My kid would get back slapped for asking for that crap.
As much hatred as I have for boys wearing skinny jeans sagging off their backsides, I wonder if my mom felt the same about my baggy jeans……
I gotta give it up to Google. They celebrated the 30th anniversary of Pac Man but putting a picture on the game as it’s logo today (Friday) But that’s not all, if you click on it, you can play it. Too dope (that’s the nerd in me coming out)
I’m saying I can dream right?
Listen, if I found out someone on my team was banging my mom during my MVP party (and of course this is all rumor stance right now), but anyway, first, I’d beat that dude’s ass. Second, my mom would get cut off too from all financial “aid” she receives and third, I’d play like sh*t too. How you gonna? I mean, dude’s mom? I mean that’s some motherf*cking (pun intended) grimy ish right there.
Ladies, do you want a phatter backside. Look what I found for you
How’d she get famous again? Why is she important? Oh yeah, she boned Ray-J on a “please release this so I can be popular” sex tape. Bullshit ass tape. I saw it!
When I was a young single bachelor, 4am was nothing to me.
4am was the time I LEFT the club/bar. I shut it down. Waited until the lights came on so I could get a real good look at the honey I was dancing with and determine whether I was going ask for the digits and make the “nah I’ll pass” decision. Dark clubs are dangerous man!
I could stay up until 4am with no damn problem. Hit up the 24 hour diner or IHOP and feel like it’s 9pm. I wasn’t even tired. Sunrise – no problem!
4am was nothing. I could get home or already be home, drink or still feel the buzz, make a booty call with the extra Barry White bass in my voice. “Wassup, what you doin? You should come over…”
If the phone rang at 4 back then, it was somebody thinking about me and they were leaving the club and wanted to come see Mr. Fresh! YES!
Go to bed at 4am and still get a good 8 hours+ of sleep and feel refreshed (unless of course the alcohol humbled you…..)
FAST FORWARD…..
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I was driving my daughter to practice the other day. I can’t remember which one. During our convo, she’s telling me about some of the songs the girls have on their iPod. As she’s telling me the list, I’m cool with it because I can see that they picked these songs for a reason. They get them pumped up before their meet (my daughter runs track).
So I’m like cool….and I open my mouth….
Me: I used to do the same thing before my games. I’d make a tape of my favorite music and put it in my Walkman and get hype.
Lil Freshalina: Daddy? What’s a Walkman?
Me: It’s what you listen to your tapes in. It’s like your iPod but for tapes and…(**I get cut off**)
Lil Freshalina: Daddy? What’s a tape?
Me: (thinking to myself) *Damn this kid is deprived* Then I explain the whole concept of music and tapes and there was no downloading just waiting and running to the radio and pressing the red record button and poppin the little plastic pieces off so no one can record over it and using the Bic Pen to rewind the tape or get the tape back in order because your big head brother pulled it out and the Bic pens were the only ones that fit perfectly in the groove and flipping it over because there was an “A” side and “B” side and making the labels and writing in graffiti (not Times Roman- graffiti) for hip hop music but you wrote in cursive for the slow jams and calling it something you just made up like “Fresh Beats”……….
Lil Freshalina: Daddy, you had to do all that work just to listen to music?
Me: Yup
**MINUTES LATER**
Lil Freshalina: My daddy was telling me all this stuff about recording music onto this thing called a tape….
Random Track Teammate: I know! My mom was telling me the same thing. Have you ever seen a tape? They’re so weird looking and as big as an iPhone. They’re sooooooooo old.
Me (walking away) : Man y’all shorties are spoiled…….
Guess what I showed her when she got home…..I took out the crates (yes old school milk carton crates yes I have them) and pulled out a few tapes….See…..
I’m in the middle of a crazy road schedule. 2 weeks down. 2 weeks left.
Over the last 2 weeks, I’ve been to the northeast (NY and NJ- what up dun sons!), south (NC – north cackalac), west coast (Cali – bay area – westside!), midwest (Ohio – wait, is Ohio really considered the midwest and what’s their slogan?) (oh and before I get blasted by my readers, I was in Cincinnati – not Cleveland or Dayton/Columbus – whew – had to save my arse there for a second) and oh and can’t forget South Central…..Pennsylvania! I did see an interesting billboard there that was directed at the President and something crazy about not wanting healthcare which was crazy because I swear the waitress at the restaurant had like 4 teeth. But whatever…..
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So here’s the situation.
About a year ago, a family member was going through some tough times. While no one knew exactly what was going on and since there was no official diagnosis, it was visible that this family member had some serious self esteem issues which I believe led to a bout with depression. (That’s just my opinion. I’m only a “internet” doctor but nothing was “officially” diagnosed)
Everyone tried their best to help during these times. People let this family member stay at their house. People paid this person’s bills and rent (because they walked away from…not lost….walked away from their previous job). Eventually there were glimpses of hope. One day, said family member told another family member that they were feeling better and ready to move on. At the same time, coincidentally, I was presented with an opportunity that I thought would be perfect especially since said family member had experience in that field. I took it to other members of the family. They agreed it would be good and then I presented it to said person. It would allow them to get back on their feet, although not right away but eventually. I would front them with what they needed and then everything would get turned back over to them.
Fast forward.
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